From Unheard to Executive Presence: Insights from the Coaching Room

Earn their ears with power questions

One other common and heartfelt challenges my executive coaching clients bring to our sessions is this:

"I don’t feel heard in meetings. My ideas don’t get the recognition they deserve. I leave frustrated and invisible."

This experience is not unique to any one group. My clients include women who are in the minority at the table, and also men. They often feel overlooked, their contributions buried by louder, more assertive colleagues.

The Scenario Unpacked

We usually begin by exploring a specific, recent situation that left them feeling unheard. As they recount the incident, two powerful things happen simultaneously:

• They reconnect with the emotions they felt — frustration, disappointment, even shame.

• They begin to see, often for the first time, what they might have done differently.

Through this process, clients often identify a range of underlying dynamics:

• Not enough time given to them in the meeting.

• Struggling to articulate their ideas crisply and succinctly.

• Being overshadowed by more dominant personalities.

• Needing more time to process ideas before speaking — afraid of thinking aloud without a “perfect” answer.

• Reluctance to speak up unless they feel they can add real value.

• By the time they are ready to speak, the moment has passed, the topic has shifted, and they leave feeling invisible.

One striking insight that emerges is that the meeting leader seldom creates space for everyone — a reminder that some factors lie outside their control.

Reclaiming Control

At this point, I ask a question that shifts the whole conversation:"What is in your control, and what is not?"

This liberating question helps clients see that their frustration is not entirely their fault. But it also opens their eyes to actions that are within their power.

Some of the strategies my clients have discovered and adopted include:

✅ Prepare and pre-communicate. Sending an email in advance of the meeting with their ideas ensures their points are on record. It also often prompts the meeting leader to invite them to speak.

✅ Signal your intent. Clients realized they never made it clear they wanted to contribute — by raising a hand, leaning in, or politely interjecting when there’s a pause.

✅ Think aloud. Rather than having to formulate their answers perfectly before speaking at the risk of losing their turn, clients identified that they could articulate their thought process as a way to participate and contribute.

✅ Ask powerful questions. Rather than struggling to “tell” their ideas perfectly, clients identified that they could frame their points as open-ended, thought-provoking questions. This not only made others consider their perspective but also elevated their presence as thoughtful, strategic leaders.

The Bigger Shift

As we explored these tactics, clients began to see the real transformation wasn’t just about being heard. It was about who they wanted to be in the room — a confident, poised, proactive leader.

The act of asking powerful questions, of showing up with calm confidence, of making intentional choices about when and how to contribute — all these behaviors helped my clients build what we often call executive presence.

Moving from a state of frustration to one of control and presence was a shift that re-energized and excited them.

Who Do You Want to Be?

At the end of the day, it’s not only about what you want to say or the point you want to make. It’s about how you choose to show up — with confidence, poise, and a willingness to engage meaningfully.

If you’ve ever felt unheard or invisible in meetings, know that you’re not alone. And know, too, that there are practical, powerful ways to shift the dynamic — starting with the choices you make about how you participate, and who you decide to be in the room.

Takeaway Questions for Reflection:

• In your last meeting, what was within your control?

• How might you signal more clearly that you have something to contribute?

• What power question could you ask to bring your perspective into the discussion?

Call to Action: Do you have a challenge in being heard or being recognized for your ideas ? Feel free to book a complimentary Discovery call, using that option from my website: www.SuccessSupport.ca

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