Leading Through Change - Insights from my exec. coaching room

If there is one topic that reliably walks into my coaching room — regardless of title, tenure, or industry — it is change.

• Executives facing reorganizations.

• Managers inheriting new teams.

• Professionals adjusting to a new boss, new client, or new market.

• Sometimes even a complete reinvention of their role.

Change shows up everywhere.

And yet, despite the familiar phrase “change is the only constant,” it rarely feels easy. In fact, it often feels deeply personal.

Over the years, I’ve noticed something interesting: while the circumstances differ, the fears are strikingly similar.

The Three Fears Behind Most Change

When a client says, “I’m struggling with this transition,” I gently ask:

“What comes up for you as you think about this change in the context of your role?”

That one question usually opens the floodgates.

They talk. And talk. And talk.

And beneath the surface, three common anxieties almost always emerge.

1. The personal fear

“Will I still be effective?”“What if I fail?”“Why can’t things stay the way they were?”

Even high performers who thrived in the old system feel shaken. The competence they built over years suddenly feels uncertain. There’s resistance, self-doubt, sometimes even quiet anger.

After all, they didn’t ask for this change.

It feels like starting over.

2. The leadership fear

This shows up most strongly with people managers.

“How do I explain this to my team?”“What if morale drops?”“What if they resist — or worse, leave?”

They’re not just carrying their own anxiety.They’re carrying everyone else’s too.

Communicating change can feel like walking into a room full of emotion without a script.

3. The growth fear

This one is more subtle.

“How do I come out of this stronger?”“How do I not just survive, but actually lead?”“How do I make this an opportunity?”

Deep down, many leaders don’t just want stability — they want to be seen as effective change leaders.

They want to thrive.

From Fear to Agency

My work in these moments is not to give advice or prescribe a playbook.

It begins with space.

Space to vent. Space to name the fear. Space to think out loud.

Because clarity rarely comes from instruction — it comes from reflection.

After they’ve explored their concerns, I guide the conversation with one simple shift:

Step 1: Acceptance

I ask:

“What parts of this change can you control — and what parts are simply given?”

There’s usually a pause.

Then recognition.

They realize:

They cannot stop the change.They cannot rewind time.They cannot recreate the old world.

And oddly, this acceptance is freeing.

Because once we stop fighting reality, energy returns.

Step 2: Control

Then comes my favorite question:

“What is in your control?”

This is where I often see the energy shift physically.

Posture changes. Voices become steadier.

Suddenly the list grows:

• How I respond

• How I communicate

• How I support my team

• How I prioritize

• How I prepare

• How I show up each day

The sense of helplessness starts to dissolve.

Step 3: Opportunity

Next, I stretch their thinking:

“What opportunities might this change create for you, your team, your clients?”

At first, the answers come slowly.

Then momentum builds.

• A chance to redesign processes

• A fresh start with a new culture

• New visibility

• Skill growth

• Stronger relationships

• Leadership credibility

The same change that once felt threatening now begins to look like possibility.

Nothing external has changed.

But everything internal has.

Step 4: Action

Finally, we anchor it in action:

“What would a good plan then look like for this week, this month, and the next few months?”

Now the conversation becomes practical.

Not theoretical.Not emotional.Executable.

Small steps. Clear ownership. Forward motion.

And with action comes confidence.

What I Consistently See

By the end of these conversations, something remarkable happens.

The very people who entered the call anxious and resistant often say things like:

• “I feel clearer now.”

• “This feels manageable.”

• “I can actually use this.”

• “I know what I need to do.”

They haven’t eliminated uncertainty.

They’ve built agency.

And that, I believe, is the heart of change leadership.

Final Thought

If there’s one insight my coaching room keeps teaching me, it’s this:

Change itself is rarely the problem. Our relationship with change is.

When we move from:

• resistance → acceptance

• helplessness → control

• threat → opportunity

• confusion → action

We stop being victims of change and start becoming leaders through it.

Change will continue to visit all of us — again and again.

The question is not “How do I avoid it?”

The question is:

“How do I show up when it arrives?”

That’s where leadership begins.

Call to Action: Is managing an upcoming change, critical for your leadership success? Feel free to book a complimentary Discovery call, using that option from my website: www.SuccessSupport.ca

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